Coping with Alzheimer’s Disease and the true meaning of Christmas
I have worked with hundreds of care givers and never have I experienced such a care giving warrior as this person whom we will call Ruth. Her husband is a retired law enforcement officer who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease several years ago. He has a heart as big as hers and is the epitome of what we all pray for if our loved one is diagnosed someday with this disease. It is what I call a match made in Heaven.
In my experience, the Christmas Season is the most difficult time of the year for the family who has a loved one with dementia. If we could only know what is in store for the next year. I have had this conversation many times with my fishing buddies. The question is: “What would the world be like if we new what God had in store for us every day of our life?” Would your best friend be calling you to say that they could not drive today because they new they were to die in an auto accident? Would your daughter tell you that she would not date the man you approved of because she new that he would experience several tragedies in the future resulting in his own alcoholism? The world would be a mess!
Ruth has chosen the humble path of servitude and has accepted the cards she was dealt. When she promised her husband that she would stick by his side until death do us part, she meant it! What she did not promise was that she would do it with a positive attitude and a big heart. What a fortunate man! What follows is here Christmas letter to her friends and family:
“YOU’LL BE IN OUR HEARTS THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON- 2008”
We don’t have all of our Christmas decorations up yet but as we continue putting them up here and there, our hearts expectation is that Christ will do something new in all of us this special season.
We are reminded that Mary & Joseph were real people and they were deeply affected by all that took place. Likewise, Christ’s presence should deeply affect us. He is our God, our Savior, our friend, our King. He has come! He lives today! He is! That is indeed reason to celebrate!
Our daughter Shelly was here with us for two months this last summer. What a joy to have her here. We were happy to have our son Ben visit us also in the summer as well as a more recent visit. It is good that our daughter Karen still lives close by so she can stop in frequently. We are thankful for the many things our children do for us and the love they share with us.
The Lord has given us a good year because of his Loving Presence. We are doing ok physically, however, we both are learning to adjust and accept the progression of Larry’s dementia. Despite the many daily difficulties that contend with, secure in our love and knowing God is always with us, we are mostly content. Maybe it’s the pleasure of making another person happy. But we know it is in part, the encouragement we receive from family, from friends, from support groups, and the daily blessings from God.
The Lord is teaching me to release to Him my hopes and desires so that He can bring them to pass. I find that God takes yesterday’s hopes and challenges me to let go of them for a greater display of his Grace. Daily He says “let go, and trust Me. Watch me work”. My chosen scripture (Which has been printed in large letters on my dining room area wall) is found in Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart…” May this scripture be yours in the 2009 year!
We wish you a Christmas Joy. And may the Spirit of the Season fill your heart during this special time.
Can you find anything about this letter that has to do with meeting her own needs? When families often ask me what are the qualities necessary to be a good care giver? The answer can be summed up into one word, “Grace”.
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